Happy New Year!

Published in

Us Magazine – The News International

DATED:[1-JANUARY-2010]

By Waqas Hassan Sharif

Dear friends, we have gathered today to witness history or rather future in the making. Us magazine spent a

few moments with your favourite personalities to find out what their expectations are from the New Year. And this is what they think!

Miss Meera Jee

Us: Salam, Miss Meera Jee, how are you today?

MJ: Slam, fine very, very finer.

Thaaanks a lots.

Us: Meera Jee, what do you think about the New Year 2010.

MJ: Weell jee, first of aall I would like to thank God, Ooh my God!! I got away from the Atiq Rehman baby!

Us: Do you believe in meeting him anytime this year?

MJ: No, no I have bigger plans than doing scandals.

Us: Bigger plans??

MJ: Yes jee, I plan to make my own film.

Us: Really?

MJ: Jee, I will be directoring and producttioning Khuda Le Liye II.

Us: Khuda Ke liye, but that’s a Shoaib Mansoor project!

MJ: So what? I will make a better and bigger blockbuster, international film.

Us: And how do you plan to do this? Who is being cast for the movie?

MJ: Well, I do the lead in the movie. I will also do an item number.

Us: Item number??? In Khuda Ke Liye?

MJ: Yes jee, it’s going to be sung by Hana Monotata.

Us: Hannah Montana, you mean Miley Cyrus?

MJ: Jee jee, wohin Maileey Cyrus.

Us: What about Iman Ali, Fawad and Shaan?

MJ: They are my best buddies but this movie is not about them, it’s about Meera Jee and the extremists of the film industry.

Us: No offence, Meera Jee, but Shoaib Mansoor won’t allow this.

MJ: Oh that Talibanish Extremusts!!!

Us: Is this film going to be produced in Bollywood?

MJ: Yes, yes, jee, of coarse, Mahesh jee will do the honours.

Us: Hmm. We better not say anything about it. So Meera Jee, what’s your message for our readers on the New Year?

MJ: Happy New Year to all my favourite and beautiful fans out there.

Watch my picture Khuda ke liye.

Us: Khuda ke liye nahi!!!!!

President Asif Ali Zardari

Us: Hello Mr President.

PAAZ: Welcome, welcome.

Us: Sir, no offence, but you are the best president we’ve ever had.

PAAZ: Thank you very much.

Us: You have made history. The greatest democratically elected President in 62 years!

PAAZ: Do you have a cell phone?

Us: Yes, our dear president.

PAAZ: Good! Now forward this message to all the entries in your phonebook.

Us: Yes, sir!

PAAZ: And write my name at the end and not “Samajh tu gaye hongay app.”

Us: All right… So, sir, how do you see 2010 as the president.

PAAZ: Well, I will be working very hard for Pakistan and for sustaining democracy in the country…

Us: We are all with you, sir.

PAAZ: I will be visiting USA, the UK, Australia, Canada, Germany, Japan, China, Malaysia, Dubai, Russia, Brazil, Greece, France, Argentina, Italy and Poland.

Us: What about Switzerland?

PAAZ: Switzerland. Oh you naughty…naughty!!!

Us: What about Bermuda Triangle? Pakistanis just might have some peace of mind!

PAAZ: That’s a good idea. I will include it in my list.

Us: You should! Sir, people are speculating that the government won’t last for five ye

ars as things are getting pretty messed up.

PAAZ: Yay Jamhoriat per hamla hay!

Jamhoriat kay khilaf sazish hay!

Jamhoriat ko destabilize kerna chahtay hain!

Shaheed Bhutto ka piagham le ker pooray Pakistan mien jayenge.

Us: Your future strategy on NRO?

PAAZ: I have come up with a very democratic solution to this problem. I will be issuing NRO II.

Us: NRO II??? But, sir, the NRO was declared void by the Supreme Court.

PAAZ: Well NRO was issued by General Pervez Musharraf in 2007 and it took the Supreme Court more than two years to declare it unconstitutional. NRO II will be bigger and stronger. I will make sure that this time the courts take at least five years to cancel the NRO II.

Us: No doubt your term will finish in 2012, no use watching the movie.

PAAZ: What?

Us: Very impressive strategy, sir, but don’t you think the country will go absolutely berserk over this?

PAAZ: For sustaining democracy in the country we will fight with everyone.

Us: Sir, you got rid of GPM. How are things going with the present army chief?

PAAZ: I would like to make it clear that I am not afraid of anybody.

Us: Do you find any difference between Pervez Musharraf and Pervez Kiyani?

PAAZ: First you tell me what’s the difference between Pervez Kiyani and Hadiqa Kiyani?

Us: Is that a question?

PAAZ: Yes.

Us: They surely are not related to each other.

PAAZ: Let me tell you, Hadiqa Kiyani is the 30th most beautiful woman in Asia.

Us: Really sir?

PAAZ: Rani Mukherjee is the 33rd.

Us: Yes sir but General Kiyani….

PAAZ: Let me assure you he was not on the list.

Us: Okay sir. Your message on the New Year?

PAAZ: NRO II Khappay Khappay Khappay!!!

Prime Minister Yousuf Raza Gillani

Us: Good day, Mr. Prime Minister!

PMG: Thank you very much. Please ask me only to the point and easy to answer questions.

Us: As you say…So, will you be able to do something by yourself in 2010?

PMG: Let me assure you that 2010 will be the Year of the Parliament.

Us: Is the president taking over the parliament, too, or are you planing to resign?

PMG: Let me call Zardari sahab first and then I’ll answer that question.

Us: Sir, does that mean that you cannot answer a question without consulting the president?

PMG: This question is a threat to democracy.

Us: On a personal note, do you plan to change your rather interesting hairstyle this year?

PMG: What is this absurd question!!!

Us: Why did the government ban Dr. Shahid Masood?

PMG: Because he was scaring the people.

Us: But how, sir?

PMG: He was always talking about ‘the end. First the world’s end, and now the government’s end.

Us: But now he is back and doing a show from another location.

PMG: Oh my God!! Qayamat kee aik aur nishani puri ho gaee.

Us: Nowadays you and the president must be very busy, with so many things needing your attention in the country.

PMG: Oh yes, we are responsible leaders. We recently joined Facebook.

Us: But sir, how does that help the country?

PMG: Of course it does! Our diplomatic ties are getting stronger because of it. I recently sent five Farmville gifts to President Obama. After all, we are an agricultural country.

Us: Apparently agriculture is the only culture we know… Your New Year message, sir?

PMG: Yay Jamhoriat per hamla hay!

Jamhoriat kay khilaf sazish hay!

Jamhoriat ko destabilize kerna chahtay hain!

Shaheed Bhutto ka piagham le ker pooray Pakistan mien jayenge!

Imran Khan

Us: So, Mr. Khan, what are your plans for the New Year?

Imran Khan: March. Long, long march.

Us: But why, sir?

IK: Long march is mulk ka jamhoori haq hai. Banana republic main har teen din ke baad nikalta hai.

Us: Sir, it’s been a long time since…well…you split up with Jemima…

IK: I am telling you! Agar is mulk kee adlia azaad hoti, toh yeh kabhi na hota!! Bus aik aamir kee waja se…

Us: Um, sir we are talking about YOUR divorce!!

IK: Oh, sorry, sometimes I forget to stop my tape recorder. Khair, divorce Jemima behen ka jamhoori aur aiani haq tha.

Us: Anyway sir, any plans for a second marriage this year?

IK: Of course. For this very purpose, I’ll be making an appearance on Shaadi Online this year.

Us: But why sir? Surely even Sheikh Rasheed Sahab is not that desperate.

IK: No! 16 crore awam ka yeh jamhoori haq hai.

Us: But how sir?

IK: Bhai, aik system bana hai. Aap jaen, call karain aur vote karain. Yeh aik bara faisla hai aur is ka aik process hai. Aik aamir ki tarah thori koi decision pooray mulk par nafiz kar saktay hain.

Us: Excuse me, sir we are talking about YOUR marriage!

IK: Oh, sorry, forgot to stop my tape recorder again.

Us: Sir, your message on the New Year?

IK: Well, I miss Musharraf, can’t bash this one freely.

General Pervez Musharraf

Us: Hello again, sir! Long time no see. Us was missing you.

GPM: I’m also happy to be back in Us.

Us: So sir, what do you plan to do this year?

GPM: I am thinking of launching my own fashion line.

Us: What???

GPM: I have lately gotten very inspired by the colour black and so, I have decided to base my line on that colour only.

Us: Your source of inspiration if we may ask…

GPM: Listen to me, it all started with Jamia Hafsa: black burqas. Then came the Lawyers Movement. Black, black everywhere on the streets, then came the media blackout. Saare channels chutti per chale gaye. If you are a good observer, you must have noticed that after doffing my uniform off, I wear black suits and sherwanis and I think I also look good in black. And you know, black is ruling the world, literally.

Us: Sir, are you afraid that now cases will be registered against you?

GPM: Hahahaha! When that happens, give me a missed call.

Us: Your new number?

GPM: Oh, mera number hai 0900420420, aur mera network hai Pong Tong kyun ke meray hain bahut saaray international friends aur Pong Tong se milain mujhey lowest international call rates.

Us: What are you future plans about delivering lectures?

GPM: After delivering my lectures in the US and the UK I will fly back straight to Pakistan and give my lecture at Namal University, Mianwali. I’m very excited about meeting Imran Khan.

Us: Wish you all the best, sir! Now your message fon the New Year?

GPM: I’ll be BACK!!!

llustrations taken from the Internet

A decade from now you will wake up one morning and find your copy of The News International making these headlines!

Mufti Muneeb-ur-Rehman new NASA chief: Decision sparks protest in Peshawar

HOUSTON/USA: Chairman Ruet-Hilal Committee Mufti Muneeb-ur-Rehman has now been appointed as the chief of the National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA). This decision came from the government to prevent anymore chand controversies. Prime Minister Rehman Malik told newsmen that NASA would be responsible for the sighting of the moon and would work as a subsidiary of the Ruet-e-Hilal committee. The newly appointed chief vowed that no chand controversies would take place in future and the whole Universe would celebrate Eid according to the moon sighting conducted by NASA. Chairman Rehman also said that a special space shuttle would be launched into space every time the moon needs to be sighted. On the other hand Peshawar witnessed massive protest over Muneeb-ur-Rehman’s appointment. The Zonal Committee in Peshawar accused Mufti Muneeb of deliberately tampering with the chand. The Zonal Committee decided that if their demands were not met, the next Eid would be celebrated just by the sighting of Katrina Kaif.
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WASHINGTON: The American State Department lauded Iran for its role in maintaining political stability and peace in the region. The United States government said that it had great faith in Iran and saw it as a very important ally. US claimed that the Nuclear Command and Control System of Iran was one of the best in the world. The US also showed great interest in purchasing Uranium centrifuges from Iran. Earlier, President Obama joked by telling Iran, “Insaan ka bacha ban ja.” Iran responded to Obama by saying, “Thori Fair n Lovely to lagaley.”

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LAHORE: Seen as the most controversial, scandalous, gossipy and more chatpata than the word chatpata itself, the Meera scandal is back in the news as the Bollywood queen broke her silence after almost decades in an emergency press conference. Meera told The News that she was betrayed by Atiq-ur-Rehman years ago and demanded strict action against the prominent businessman. Meera stated, “Obama ki kasam, Osama ki kasam, Betul-a-Mehsud ki kasam, Sahir Lodhi ki kasam, I am married to Atiq-ur-Rehman and hold almost 94.75% share in Atiq’s property.” Meera demanded that the government and the parliament conduct an unfair and unbalanced trial of Atiq under Article 6 of the Constitution. Meera’s lawyers, who were also present at the press conference, said that they believed betraying Meera came under high act of treason and was an un-bailable offence. Meera also claimed that Atiq had the support of international guarantors as well as local stakeholders. If found guilty, Atiq-ur-Rehman could be sentenced to life imprisonment, with Meera, of course.
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Kamal inaugurates world’s longest bridge: Pakistan makes into Guinness Book of World Records

KARACHI: City Nazim of Karachi, Syed Mustafa Kamal, inaugurated the world’s longest bridge over the Indian Ocean connecting Karachi to London that will make the trip between the two cities absolutely signal free. Kamal stated that this mega structure was a part of the Signal Free Corridor XII and had reduced the distance between Karachi and London to just 23 hours, 59 minutes and 30 seconds by car. Kamal also said that this bridge was not a publicity stunt to get Pakistan’s name into the Guinness Book of World Records or to get MQM Chief Altaf Hussain bhai to visit Karachi. Later on, a massive protest was also witnessed outside the offices of the City Government against the construction of the bridge by British Airways Pakistan.

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Pervez nominated for Noble Peach Prize

ISLAMABAD: member and Minister for Water and Power, Raja Pervez Ashraf, has been nominated for the esteemed Nobel Peach Prize for his work in the field of power generation. The Nobel Foundation confirmed his nomination after going through Pervez’s Electric Molecular Energizer model which was installed back in December 2009 which ended the energy crisis of the country. The same but a low powered model was also installed by NASA on board the USS-Enterprise six years back and is running successfully. Pervez was also awarded the prestigious DOC Spock Award two days back. On returning from the planet Vulcan, Raja Pervez highlighted the importance of electricity generation and conservation. Pervez returned yesterday from Vulcan where he delivered lectures on the topic “AC 26 degree per chalaiye” at the Vulcan University.
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Imran still unhappy: Threatens long march, Eyes Revolution

LAHORE: PTI Chairman Imran Khan forced the government to take strict action against the killers of Monty and Anabel. He threatened the government that a long march would be conducted if justice was not done. Earlier, the Lawyer’s Action Committee also gave a call for long march. Imran Khan also said in his press conference that this long march would be as historical as the long march held back in 2009. “It will be bigger, better and stronger this time,” said Imran. PTI has also setup protest camps outside the Lahore and Islamabad press clubs. It is noted that Anabel and Monty were the two Pakistani cats killed last month in the southern district capital of the Banana Republic. Later, MQM Quaid Altaf Hussain also called Imran Khan and assured full support to him on this national issue.

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Begum Nawazish Ali to contest Miss Universe beauty pageant: Taliban gives NOC

KARACHI: Lollywood diva Begum Nawazish Ali announced that she will participate in the upcoming Miss Universe Contest which is to be held in Afghanistan. Starting from next month, the Contest will show more than 150 contestants. Begum Nawazish said that she was waiting for the NOC (no objection certificate) from the Taliban, who are the principal organisers of the event, before making this news public. The NOC issued by Taliban gives Begum Nawazish the authority to take part in the swim suit competition.

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ISLAMABAD: After a long term of serving as the President of Pakistan, the Pakistan Peoples Party co-chairman has decided to call it a day and is all set to resign as the president and take over the office of the chief justice. However, many political analysts claim that the President is willing to keep both offices and may not resign. Sources close to the presidency disclose that President Zardari is consulting his legal experts as it’s unconstitutional to keep the two offices, the president’s as well as the chief justice’s, at the same time. Close aides also indicate towards a major constitutional difficulty as the chief justice is supposed to take oath from the president and PPP has not indicated whether a new person will be nominated as the president or President Zardari will continue to be the president. Zardari vowed that as soon as he takes oath for the office of the chief justice, a suo motto action will be taken to find out and punish the assassins of Benazir Bhutto.
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Nawaz meets Musharraf at Chak Shahzad: Offers premiership

CHAK SHAHZAD/ISLAMABAD: Former Prime Minister and PML (N) chief Nawaz Sharif attended the grand dinner hosted by General (R) Pervez Musharraf at his Chak Shahzad farmhouse. Both leaders discussed the prevailing political situation in the country and other bilateral issues. Later, in a press conference, Nawaz Sharif announced his full support for Musharraf and offered him premiership of the Pakistan Muslim League (N). Nawaz Sharif expressed his concerns over the battered situation of the country, saying that ‘only a democratically elected dictatorship is the key to all the problems’. Musharraf, in his remarks, praised Nawaz Sharif and said that PML (N) would be contacted when needed.
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WASHINGTON: In a dramatic development, the United States government urged Pakistan to stop bullying India and keep away from the country’s internal affairs. Pakistan on the other hand rejected such claims stating them baseless. Pakistan’s High Commissioner to India, Ajmal Kasab, warned India and advised the Indian government to refrain from complaining to the US about Pakistan. Earlier, Pakistan also cut off electricity and gas supply to India as a preventive measure. The Indian government continued its aggression against the ISI and demanded Pakistan to nominate a new high commissioner instead of the controversial Kasab. The US also urged Pakistan to stop the Drone attacks in the Indian territory.

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NEW YORK: Muslims population exceeded the 6 Billion mark last year and is now the largest religious group, confirmed the United Nations. The UN also confirmed that Muslim population in the United States, United Kingdom and India has increased up to an astonishing 80 per cent. This rapid increase also created a major political shift, especially in the United States last year, as Jamat-e-Islami was about to clean sweep the general election, but later lost by only 2 seats. Jamat-e-Islami leader Mulana Fazlur Rehman pointed out the irregularities in the election, but inside sources claim that a last minute deal was struck between Fazlur Rehman and the Democrats according to which Fazlur Rehman was to have a major share in the Mulla Gabloo Jawan Pehelwaan Oil Fields. The Mulla Gabloo Jawan Pehelwaan Field is responsible for supplying diesel not only to the United States, but also to its allied countries.

INTERVIEW WITH

PRESIDENT ASIF ALI ZARDARI

UNPUBLISHED DUE TO CURBS IMPOSED BY SO CALLED DEMOCRATIC GOVERNMENT IN THE COUNTRY

“All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental”

Ladies and gentle man, bhaiyon aur un ki behno. After the phenomenal success of GPM (General Pervez Musharraf) we proudly and forcefully present

PAAZ!!!

No, this is not a new mobile company. Read on to find out!

Mr Ghost: Hello and welcome Mr. President

President Asif Ali Zardari: The pleasures are all mine.

MG: Sir, My first question is-

PAAZ: No actually, I am going to put the first question to you.

MG: Yes, Mr President?

PAAZ: Where are your shoes, both of them?

MG: Sir, I have deposited them at the security along with my mobile, video camera, belt and even my pen.

PAAZ: That’s very cooperative of you. You know throwing items is restricted.

MG: Yes, sir I got that.

PAAZ: The American intelligence may have failed but our intelligence agencies have confirmed reports that there is going to be a shoe-cide attack on me.

MG: You mean suicide attack.

PAAZ: Ya, that too.

MG: My first question is that the 18th February election bought hope to the people of Pakistan but none of the promises made by you came true. Why?

PAAZ: Yay Jamhoriat per hamla hay

Jamhoriat kay khilaf sazish hay

Jamhoriat ko destabilize kerna chahtay hain

Shaheed Bhutto ka piagham le ker pooray Pakistan mien jai ge.

MG: Sir, inflation is increasing; there are now more internal and external threats, load shedding, Judiciary, nothing seems right.

PAAZ: Yay Jamhoriat per hamla hay

Jamhoriat kay khilaf sazish hay

Jamhoriat ko destabilize kerna chahtay hain

Shaheed Bhutto ka piagham le ker pooray Pakistan mien jai ge.

I don’t want my first interview for Us to be boring. I hope that I am not being monotonous.

MG: No sir, not a bit. You are just helping me increase the word count.

I won’t let you be monotonous; this country is going through a tough time like always; my next question to you, sir, is that who is your favorite actress?

PAAZ: Yay Jamhoriat per hamla hay

Jamhoriat kay khilaf sazish hay

Oh sorry, the answer would be Ashwaariya, Angelina, all the Jennifers , Meera,

MG: Thank you, sir, that would be enough.

PAAZ: Preity, Rani and yes also Sherry Rehman.

MG: Fair enough. Sir, you got rid of General Pervez Musharraf.

How do find the new army chief?

PAAZ: I would like to make it clear I am not afraid of anybody.

MG: I meant what is the difference between Pervez Musharraf and Pervez Kiyani?

PAAZ: First you tell me what’s the difference between Pervez Kiyani and Hadiqa Kiyani?

MG: Is that a question?

PAAZ: Yes.

MG: Hadiqa sings to the nation and the nation sings to General Kiyani.

PAAZ: Exactly.

MG: Yes Sir, the nation sings for help.

MG: Sir, tensions with India are on the rise. Have you talked with the Indian Prime Minister?

PAAZ: Yes.

MG: How did it go?

PAAZ: First of all I congratulated him on the completion of Kyun Ki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu thi, and offered my condolences on the death of Baa in the last episode. Oh boy poor Muhtarma Baa Shaheed!

I think the Indian government should release new Rs.10 coins with Baa on them!

MG: How did Prime Minister Manmohan Singh respond?

PAAZ: First he got all emotional and started crying like a baby. Then his defense minister Pranab Mukherjee intervened and blamed the ISI for the act.

MG: How could he blame the ISI without any proof?

PAAZ: Exactly. I also protested and asked Pranab Mukherjee whether he was related to Rani Mukherjee or not?

MG: That’s one good diplomatic move.

PAAZ: Yes and guess what? Pranab is not related to Rani Mukherjee.

MG: Wow sir! Cool, did you get to talk to Manmohan Singh?

PAAZ: Yes, he cried over the telephone saying look what terrorist have done to my Mumbia.

MG: And your response?

PAAZ: I said,

Yay Jamhoriat per hamla hay

Jamhoriat kay khilaf sazish hay

Jamhoriat ko destabilize kerna chahtay hain

Shaheed Bhutto ka piagham le ker pooray India mien jai ge.

MG: Sir, the Indian Prime Minister also summoned the ISI chief on this issue.

PAAZ: Yes, I told him this can be done only if we have a deal.

MG: What deal?

PAAZ: I told him to give us Katrina in exchange for the ISI chief.

MG: He must have responded negatively.

PAAZ: Yes, I offered him to take Kashmir and the ISI chief, but still he said no.

MG: Very thoughtful of the Prime Minister I guess.

PAAZ: I knew that Indians don’t want any negotiations.

MG: But India has also threatened us with war.

PAAZ: I told Manmohan Singh that we are not afraid of you and we stand united against any Indian aggression.

MG: Yes sir, we stand united.

PAAZ: Manmohan Singh then started singing:

Singh Is Kinng,

Singh Is Kinng ,

Singh Is Kinng…….

MG: Did he, sir?

PAAZ: Yes, I told him we are not afraid of you Sardar. You only come in handy when it comes to forward text messages.

MG: Mr. Manmohan must be really angry.

PAAZ: He threatened me by saying we have USA, Russia, and Israel on their side.

Who does Pakistan have?

I replied we have FATA.

Mess with the Best

Die like the Rest.

MG: Wow sir, what a reply, I am not missing my shoes now.

MG: Mumbia attacks are believed to be India’s 9/11.

PAAZ: Pakistan everyday goes through some sort of 9/11

MG: I think Pakistan’s 9/11 was on the 6^th of September.

PAAZ: Yes you are right, hey wait a minute I was elected President on 6^th of September!!!!

MG: Sir, I was just kidding. Let’s lighten up your mood.

Sir, how was your meeting with Sarah Palin?

PAAZ: very loving and affectionate.

MG: but she also lost in elections.

PAAZ: She had too. She was very bad at speeches.

MG: Seriously?

PAAZ: Let me show the video I made of her on my cell phone.

(Video gets played)

Sarah Palin addressing a gathering!

SP: My Fellow Americans

Aaj bhi McCain zinda hain

Kal bhi McCain zinda tha.

Tum kitnay Muslims maaro ge

Haar Muslim Obama nikle ga!

Hum America mien Democracy lie gai!

Hum adliya bahaal kaare ge.

MG: Sir, who would even vote for her after such a speech!

PAAZ: Pakistanis would!

MG: Sir, last question to you

Sherry Rehman OR Sarah Palin

PAAZ: Of course Sherry Rehman!

MG: any special reason?

PAAZ: My Desi Girl , My desi girl

Who’s the hottest in the world?

My Desi girl My Desi girl!!!!

MG: Sir we have to leave it over there, next line song ki theek nahi, any ways thank you very much for the interview.

PAAZ: The pleasures are all mine!

MG: Thanks every one for being with us and in the end I would like to say:

Mujh ye fikar nahi ke ye mulk kasie chale

Mujh ye bhi fikar nahi ke ye aise hi na chalta rahe

Mujh ye fikar hian ke ye mulk aur kitne din chale ga!!

It’s Theater Time

Complied by Waqas Hassan Sharif

Published in

YOU!  Magazine – The News International

DATED: [ 27th - January- 2009]

Want to take a respite from action/thriller movies? Take your kids to a family movie like Marley & Me or plan a trip with your girl friend to watch Bride Wars to a theater near you…

Bride Wars

The stress of preparing for a wedding can bring out the worst in the bride to be so just imagine how much more taxing it would be if the biggest competition to your perfect day was your best friend? That’s the dilemm faced by the lifelong friends and alpha brides Liv (Hudson, ‘Fool’s Gold’) and Emma (Anne Hathaway) in the entertaining comedy ‘Bride Wars’.

Bride Wars deviates from the usual wedding-flick routine of maids of honour who should be the bride (or groom). And even though the catfighting goes over the top, the notion that a passionate female friendship can turn ugly in a heartbeat is, sadly, realistic. Women friends have a sharp sense of one another’s soft underbelly, and what we love about our best girlfriends can easily be turned into ammunition following a betrayal. We know how to hurt one another.

The story is slight, and a little sitcom-predictable: Hudson and Hathaway play two childhood BFFs, raised in Jersey and living in Manhattan. Both women have spent their lives dreaming of a June wedding at the Plaza. After finding an engagement ring, Liv begins planning for her big day but Emma actually gets a proposal from her boyfriend first, setting the stage for the two to battle over who gets married at the luxurious Plaza Hotel since their weddings were erroneously scheduled for the same day.

The comedy is all about these bazooka-brained brides and their holy right to treat a wedding as more important than, you know, marriage. The whole thing goes by quickly and painlessly, providing a few laughs, some decent lines and the requisite hard-core, high-fashion details – the sort of vicarious window-shopping that movies like this need to deliver as regularly as punch lines.

Hudson doesn’t shy away too far from the romantic comedy genre and gives her typically dependable performance, but Hathaway is the real treat here. Hathaway has proven to be one of the most versatile actresses in Hollywood. Her role here is a stark departure from the serious drama as she gets to cut loose and have fun.

Hudson and Hathaway make for a great comedic pair and will keep you laughing all the way down the aisle. All in all, it’s a good girlfriend movie and a decent date-night picture. It won’t change your life, of course.

*The film will be shown @ Cineplex cinemas soon.

Marley & Me

Some movies capture your heart from start to finish. Such a film is ‘Marley & Me’ which is based on the book by John Grogan. This true tale is about the building of a family, the challenges of parenthood, and most of all, about the role dogs play in our lives.

Directed by David Frankel (The Devil Wears Prada and several Sex And The City episodes), ‘Marley & Me’ is a relatable and entertaining film that laughs knowingly at one dog’s mischief-making and the owners growing accustomed to him. “The story is about the highs and lows of being young and in love and encountering the challenges of marriage. It also deals with the dreams that get sacrificed for the joys of children, and about the challenges of balancing career and family,” says the director.

In ‘Marley & Me’ newlyweds John and Jennifer Grogan (Owen Wilson and Jennifer Aniston) welcome a cuddly bundle of joy into their home only to discover that it’s more than they can handle. The feisty puppy that grows into an untamed dog named Marley wrecks their house but wins their hearts.

Dog lovers everywhere cannot miss this film. “Marley & Me” tells the story of not only man’s best friend, but of a dog becoming a member of the family and sharing memories with all that will last a life time. The deft touch with which it addresses spouses’ and parents’ professional and personal trade-offs proves this to be a more substantial and poignant picture than expected for what appears to be merely a cute dog movie. Owen Wilson and Jennifer Aniston gave amazing performances.

‘Marley & Me’ may not be quite up there with Steve Martin’s 1989 movie Parenthood, but in exploring the notion that marriage, children and the pressures of a career make for hard but joyous work, it’s a refreshing return to comedies that deal with something other than dating. ‘Marley & Me’ is a family film that will have you laughing and crying in equal parts. Children who are not overly sensitive will enjoy the movie even in the final sad moments.

* The film is being shown @ Cineplex cinemas

DIGITAL LIFE

By Waqas Hassan Sharif

Published in

SPIDER Magazine – The Dawn Group Of Newspapers

DATED: [ November 2008 Issue]

“Suicide Virus attack on C drive,

2 system files deleted, 8 damaged”.

If Pakistan was a computer, what would be some

of the functioning software on the system?

Read on to find out

JUDGE ZIP 60 to 5: JudgeZip 60 is the original and most popular of all ZIP judge utility. Wizard/Classic interfaces accommodate both first-time and experienced politicians. With JudgeZip you can quickly and easily compress and decompress non PCO judges and also existing PCO judges, lawyers and even the entire institute of Judiciary. You can easily encrypt and decrypt your cases. Features include tight integration with Windows Zardari and support for other prominent partners. Just one-click zipping can eliminate all your cases. JudgeZip adds new features for compression of the Lawyers’ Movement; the ability to ZIP cases directly from police stations and it comes with customizable penal codes, more encryption, corruption and compression. JudgeZip is patched up with NRO and is a must to ensure smooth running of your government. Encryption and corruption features get more than a new coat of paint in this version, with customizable judges, requirements can be fulfilled and all bugs of Atizaz and Kurd types can be compressed and depressed and eventually removed.

AIVG:

American Invasion Guard: AIVG Free Edition is the well-known American Invasion protection tool. AIVG is available for free, just like the American Invasions on the North West Frontier borders and is extremely compatible with Windows Zardari if installed. AIVG protects your sovereignty like never before and provides high level American troop detection capability that millions of people across Pakistan should trust, to protect their territorial sovereignty. AIVG Free is easy to use and will slow your economy down (high system resource requirements). Highlights include automatic update functionality, the AIVG Missile Shield, which provides real-time protections as the Taliban are free to move in and out of the frontier borders. AIVG also provides the bare necessities, including a real-time shield to prevent American infections and American malware and American spy ware. The programme does tax your system when monitoring or when it is pretending to be monitoring in the background and has always proved ineffective in our tests. It provides fast, responsive defence against all types of malicious activities including drones, Predators, spy planes and other threats if they exist.

Anti Bomber 2.0:

(With Money Back Guarantee)

After the amazing and huge failure of Anti Bomber 1.0 it’s high time to try out your luck again with our exclusive Anti Bomber 2.0 – Anti Bomb Attacks software.It is a comprehensive, easy to use anti bomber programme, designed to offer reliable, free of charge bombing protection to embassies, higher government officials, foreign franchises and diplomats.The AB 2.0 offers extensive recognition and detection of suicide bombers, killer dumper trucks, backdoor terrorist organizations, etc. Automatic incremental updates of terrorist signatures, banned organizations and terror plots.

Salient features include:

1. Protection against known and unknown threats using an advanced intelligence network.

2. Scheduler where you can set the scanner to make automatic scans or updates on your cities and towns.

3. Forum and phone support knowledge base with bombers’ descriptions available on the web site.

4. Special version for Five Star hotels coming soon.

5. Permanent bombing protection with real time monitoring of suicide bombers.

Z-IRC:

z-IRC is a full featured One to One Relay Chat client for Windows Zardari that can be used to communicate, share, play or flirt with local, foreign diplomats and American Vice Presidential candidates, either in front of the whole world media or in one-to-one private discussions. When released it was supposed to have a clean, practical interface that was highly respectable and decent but after installation the expectedly expected happened. It supports features such as love lists, hug transfers, forced connections and not to be spoken messages.

Sherry’s Media Player:

Sherry’s Media Player is especially designed for Windows Zardari that offers great new ways to control and master all your private channels and re-master the already under state control and owned media. The latest version has the ability to appoint anchors-turned-doctors from private to state owned media. Once installed, it gives you full control over the media and every thing goes Zardari ke Mutabiq. The new version offers great control over talkative news anchors. Sherry’s Media Player plays it like never before.

Search Express:

Frustrated that finding things on your wanted list is so difficult? Search Express offers search capabilities like never before. Missing persons, Atta, Electricity, Sugar, Gas, Water, corruption free politicians, independent judiciary, wanted terrorist, criminals and Al-Qaeda number 1, 2, till 420, – it searches all, if installed. The most interactive feature Search Express offers is that it can provide search of your missing persons without involving the intelligence agencies. It offers great help to human rights organizations in achieving their goals. Easy to set-up and quick to configure, Search Express enables you to deliver search to your organization quickly and easily.

Desi Wire:

Desi Wire is Pakistan‘s fastest P2P (party to party) ministry sharing application for all types of ministries, including finance, railways, information, interior and many more. Other features include dynamic ministers querying and ministry previews before allotment of portfolios.

It provides equal distribution of ministries according to party seats in the assembly. Desi Wire’s new ministry blocker gets rid of junk parties and ministers, and automatic updates will enable sharing faster than ever with the latest version.

Political Chit Chat

SPIDER Magazine – The Dawn Group Of Newspapers

DATED: [ JUNE 2008 Issue]

By Iqra Asad

Interview of all regular writers of Us Magazine conducted by Iqra Asad

It is a law of nature. The sun will rise. The tides will flow. Fans want to know more about their stars. Where celebrities are concerned, the tabloids fulfill this demand, but what about the fans of Us? Something had to be done.

And done it was. It took some doing, but I managed to book Café Online. I sent out the invites and got my notebook and pen ready. I didn’t know any shorthand, but I was going to get those interviews!

Us is made of regular sections and contributions. I couldn’t invite everyone who’d ever contributed, but I invited those who had carved their own niche in Us and earned appreciation from the readers in doing so, both senior and relatively new writers.

And not only this; for today, the interviewees will be available live at http://thenews.jang.com.pk/Tea_with_Us

I chose to begin with none other than our very own Lubna Jerar Naqvi, at a table away from the noise of the others.

Lubna Jerar Naqvi

Occupation: I have been a journalist since the age of 9. (No, no, you are forgetful! Your 1st article was published when you were about to grace this earth with your presence!)

City: Karachi (still wonder why bomb blasts occur here?)

Educational institutions: I was born in Manchester, UK (should have stayed there instead of plaguing the 4th floor) and studied (what?) in St Peter’s High School, St Lawrence and St Joseph’s college for women.

Zodiac sign: Gemini (incidentally, she shares not only her name but her date of birth with the Editor of Us, too!)

First article: I don’t remember, I used to write short stories for a magazine called “Mirror” in the early 1980s and then worked for Us magazine as sub-editor. (sigh)

The best thing about writing: I love writing, so I always wanted to become an “author” when other kids wanted to be doctors, teachers etc. It makes me feel so happy because I write from my heart. (And talks from? Others write with their thumbs) Which is why most of the time my editors have trouble with my highly emotionally pieces (perorations) and want me to tone down. (Impossible!) But I can’t write without feeling, and it shows. (you bet)

What I do in my spare time: Read, write, watch a lot of TV and play with my kids (this not only includes my own kids but the other kids in my life). (Naturally one plays with one’s own age group)

Highlight of life: Being a mother.

Low point in life: Many.

My defining characteristic: Hmm….I’d say my high IQ, good taste in fashion and of course my awesome personality and good looks, only if other people who knew me weren’t reading this. So I’ll settle with friendliness and good humour (hope my family isn’t reading this). (But what of Us, we are editing it!)

Best part of my day: Food time…and when I get to talk….hey that means all day and night.

A favourite something: My favourite anything is my family, friends, books and freedom….and the book and movie ‘Gone with the wind’.

It was a task in itself, tearing Nabeel away from the football game on the café TV long enough to take his interview, and even then I was threatened to be charged with damages if a goal occurred in his absence. Thankfully, the goalkeepers did their job, allowing me to do mine.

Nabeel Naqvi

Occupation: OK, here goes nothing; I work at Us (when ) as a sub-editor. I think that explains everything. Yes, that “relentless knife” is in my hands sometimes! (He uses it to stab Us!)

Age: 23 (Liar!)

D.O.B: 28th November (1975)

Educational Institution: Business Administration Department, Karachi University. (Never set foot in it. Didn’t get time, actually. Had to visit so many ‘other’ places )

City: Karachi

First article: Well, I don’t really remember because it was a long time ago, probably 12 years back! (All our writers start before they are born)

The best thing about writing: You can vent your feelings out; you can bring your thoughts and ideas to life. (And bore everyone with horrendous exploits of Ronaldos)

What I do in my spare time: I celebrate! Something you get so seldom (another lie!) is worth celebrating. Anyway, if I get some spare time I splurge it watching TV! (That means 24/7)

Highlight of life: There have been so many high points in my life, so, I cannot be specific here. (wonder what ‘she’ will say to it)

Low point in life: Whenever I have felt that I have disappointed my parents in any way, it is a low point for me.

My defining characteristic: Self-assurance. (ahem)

Best part of my day: When I am going back home from work, lol.

My favourite personality: Hazrat Ali (RA), his personality is so charismatic; his wisdom, his sayings, his eloquence and most of all his bravery, every aspect of his life is unbelievably inspirational.

In Nabeel’s absence, Arees had pounced upon the remote control and switched to HBO, an act considered by Nabeel to be no less than high treason. Arees decided to take shelter from Nabeel’s wrath at the interview table.

Arees Zafar

Date of Birth: 12th of July

City: Lahore.

Occupation: In the daytime, I work at Pakistan’s leading cellular company. At night, I put on a bat suit and fight crime. Also trying to find a job in the ‘Men in Black’ to monitor and fight Alien scum on Earth.

What I do in my spare time: Watch movies (currently in my DVD player is the Korean horror ‘The Host’.) Read books (presently reading William Peter Blatty’s ‘The Exorcist’.), visit the library (my second most favourite place), play games on the PC (almost ending F.E.A.R) and surf the Internet (‘Wikipedia’ is the most informative site ever!).

First article: For Us, my very first article was ‘Movie Previews’ published in April 2002.

Best thing about writing: Writing is cool! Writing is fun! Writing lets your creativity flow. Writing makes you let go of reality and lets you enter into a whole new world! You make up new things, you start paving your own path. Writing is one of the best forms of expression. Simply incredible what can be achieved just by stringing together the pearls of words…writing rules!

Highlight of life: Thanks to the Almighty…many. Like the day when I bought my very own car or when I wrote my very first story ‘Afraid’ that then got published in the magazine, but in relevance to the presently discussed theme I would say that one highpoint of my life was when I initiated the idea to start the movie page. I would say that it was one eminent highpoint of my life. It was back in October 2004 when I observed that Us catered to every need of the reader, but had nothing on movies. I used to wonder that why didn’t anyone write on movies? And then it finally hit me….why not I be the one to take it up. So I e-mailed the idea to Us editor and sent a sample “movie page”. I knew that the problem would be of space in Us for such a page. So I also sent in the suggestion to run the “music page” and “the movie page” alternately. A couple of weeks later I got the reply from the Us team: they had decided to start the “movie page”, giving it its very own slot. In January 2005, ‘the movie page’ was started, which still continues.

Low point in life: When nothing goes my way. But there’s a deep meaning in the quote, “We’re like teabags whose strength comes out when we are put in hot water. So if problems upset you, just think, you must be God’s favourite cup of tea.” Indeed, smooth roads do not make good drivers. Don’t ask life “Why Me?” Instead say, “Try me!”

Best part of my day: Literally speaking, I would say that I really like the time from 7.15 am – 8 am. I don’t know why, but I find this time most peaceful and relaxing, sort of the lull before the storm; the calm before the start of the hustle-bustle of life. While metaphorically speaking, the best part of the day would be the time when I’m free doing nothing or the time when I’m watching a good movie…that would be the best part of my day.

A favourite something: Book: Stephen King’s ‘It’. Movie: James Cameron’s Aliens. Superhero: Superman. Author: Stephen King. Movie monster: zombies. Food: biryani. Pastime: watching movies. Quote: “Nothing happens without a reason…”, “There is no escaping reason; no denying purpose.” – from The Matrix Reloaded.

It took some time to communicate to Sameen that I was going to take her interview, but once she unplugged her portable music player, we made significant progress.

Sameen Amer

City: Lahore

Date of birth: May 25th

Educational institution/alma mater: FAST-NU, from where I’ve previously done BS(CS) and am currently in the fourth (and final!) semester of MBA.

First article: My first article for Us was Cyberia. It was on search engines, if I remember correctly; I’m a bit sketchy on details as it was about a hundred years ago.

The best thing about writing: is that it’s better than reading what others have written? :p

But other than that… :p

I guess writing for me has been more about escapism than anything else. Plus, I got the chance to meet some very interesting people and even made some awesome friends along the way, so that’s been an added bonus.

What I do in my spare time: What spare time?!! Yet to experience this oft-mentioned yet seemingly mythical concept.

Highlight of life: The fact that my parents and my friends love me and care about me… that’s the highlight of my life!

Low point in life: Oh where to begin! At times life seems like one big low point, made up of lots of tiny little low points; but at the same time, each low point has, in one way or another, led to something totally incredible. Absolutely no regrets, and I wouldn’t change a thing even if I could.

My defining characteristic: I just asked a couple of friends what my defining characteristic is, and here are their replies:

- “Being a workaholic, because you work all the time.”

- “That you’re Curt Cobain’s fan.”

- “You’re amazing!”

So this must mean that I’m a totally amazing, Nirvana-obsessed workaholic. Either that, or it could just mean that my friends don’t know how to spell Kurt Cobain’s name.

Best part of my day: When I’m sleeping! (which is not very often)

A superpower I’d like to have: The ability to freeze time (à la Evie from ‘Out Of This World’); there’s some sleep I need to catch up on!

Favourite snack/drink: Coffeeeee!! Lots and lots of coffee!! (Hmmm, perhaps that might have something to do with the sleep thing, hey?)

Arees’ discovery of a second TV in the café turned the power struggle into a competition of might. As the increasing volume of a Matrix film tried to outdo that of the football commentary, I spied Naeema taking refuge on the café balcony and hurried to join her.

Naeema Akram

Occupation: A learner (my lifetime occupation).

City: Karachi

First article: An article based on the theme of co-curricular activities. It was published in Us.

The best thing about managing the poetry section: I get to read all kinds of poetry, which helps me analyze the ever-changing trends in the thought pattern of our youth. It also provides me with an opportunity to interact with “our” talent and good poetry always makes me feel happy about the fact that amongst Us only we have people with great potential for writing and most importantly, thinking.

I started compiling the “Poets’ Corner” when I joined Us as a trainee sub-ed. At that time, Us had stopped publishing the page and I, who had always loved it, greatly felt the need for at least one page being devoted to literature (poetry, in particular). Thus, I requested the Ed to begin printing it once again and so it all started. I still continue with the compilation work, although I am no more officially working at the Us desk.

What do I do in my spare time: Reading – the only pastime that I would always want to have!

Highlight of life: The company of some of the best people in society.

Low point in life: The great tide of materialism that seems to be readily sweeping away our society and its values.

Best part of my day: Early morning.

Favourite books/authors: The most difficult thing to do on earth is to make a list of one’s favourite books because there are so many books that one simply loves. My all-time favourites, however, include Siddhartha, Wuthering Heights, The Mill on the Floss, To Kill a Mockingbird, Hamlet and Dr Faustus. Poetical works by Maulana Rumi, Iqbal, Faiz, Ghalib and Tagore are indeed irresistible.

When we went back in, a truce had been called and peace had been restored. It was time to call it quits, until next week. What–you thought I was going to invite everyone in one go? See you next Friday!

P.S.: You didn’t fall for that online link, now, did you?

I managed to book Café Online again, on the terms that there would be no tinkering with the TVs this time.

Haseeb was unable to make it to Café Online due to personal reasons, but it wouldn’t do to go without a mention of him. Excuse me while I go dig out my riot shield.

Now for the whole shebang.

Here are, to use his own words, his “irrelevant details of a writer that readers find interesting”.

BILAL TANWEER

Occupation: Trying to write, study

City: New York

First article: Don’t really remember. I think it was the one in Us, ‘The Rebel’ (I think this was the caption).

The best thing about writing: It helps me discover things I don’t know.

What I do in my spare time: Spare time?

Highlight of life: They could be many, none or to come. All of these would be valid and true.

Low point in life: Again, these could be innumerable or none.

My defining characteristic: I am impulsive.

Best part of my day: Time I spend thinking, reading and writing.

A favourite something: Novel: Invisible Cities by Italo Calvino; Website: 3quarksdaily.com; History book: The Ornament of the World by Maria Rosa Menocal.

Now for two versatile and prolific pens of Us. But I had to wait while the ones who wrote with them returned with their cups of tea.

KANZA TARIQ

D.O.B: October 11th

Occupation: Student, freelancer.

City: Keeps on changing, Rawalpindi for now.

First article: I started off with a poem that was published in 2002. Then I started writing for ‘a page of my diary’ on and off. My first full page article appeared on January 16, 2004, titled ‘Flunked, yet again?’. (It was quite an achievement for the 14 year old me, lol.)

The best thing about writing: The best thing I find about writing is that I have a platform to reach out to people and touch their lives in any way; make them laugh through humour, make them ponder over issues by serious writing, and raise my voice against problems prevailing in the society. It serves as a catharsis for me in the form of poetic verses but at the same time I feel writing is a huge responsibility, so sometimes I actually fear writing.

What I do in my spare time: I absolutely love reading the dictionary.

Highlight of life: Of abstract things, it’s love of all the people who are in my life. Apart from that my academic achievements gave a direction to my life, the main ones being my overall topping the province of my educational board in grade 10 and then two years later securing admission in the professional college of my dreams.

Low point in life: Whenever I lose faith in myself.

My defining characteristic: Being extremely strong and sensitive at the same time.

Best part of my day: I love the night for its peace, calm and solitude.

A favourite something: A perfume called ‘Cherie’ by Christian Dior.

HAFSA AHSAN

Occupation: Student of Master’s. Majoring in Mass Communications.

Educational institutions: I did my O’ Level from The Mama Parsi Girls’ Secondary School and A’ Level from Foundation Public School.

City: Karachi

First article: ‘Be an online student writer’ – it was published in the section ‘crash course’ on 28th May 2004.

The best thing about writing: For me, writing is an outlet for my thoughts and opinions on various issues around me that I feel strongly about. I am quite an introvert by nature, so it is only through writing that I express my feelings and emotions. Also, a lot of things happen around us over which we have no control. We feel so helpless. But once you start writing about them, you feel that you’re doing at least something to make things better.

What I do in my spare time: I read, watch some TV, do some household chores etc. I also try and get my writing done.

Highlight of life: All my achievements: Getting printed in different publications, getting a High Achiever in both O and A Levels, getting a first position in my Honors at University, and of course all the support and encouragement that I have received from my family along the way.

Low point in life: Both in my O and A Levels I got a ‘B’ in English with an 89 percentile. That was definitely a low point – considering how shocked and disappointed my teachers were.

My defining characteristic: I am quite an introvert; if someone talks to me via email/SMS/chat, I will be able to talk very easily. But in person or on the phone, shyness overcomes me to such an extent that I get tongue-tied. Also, while I am travelling in a bus or something, I prefer to read a book or magazine.

Best part of my day: I love very early mornings. The Internet works fine. There are no phones or doorbells ringing. You can totally concentrate on your work at that time.

A favourite something: I am a total bookworm. I really like books by Lucy Maud Montgomery and Mary Higgins Clark. Classics like Jane Austen and Daphne Du Maurier are always a must-have. I am into contemporary books as well, like Harry Potter, Paulo Coelho etc.

Beauty is not the only thing in the eye of the beholder. Saad’s ability to drape everyday situations in humour and insight has won him acclaim, fans and even a heartthrob status (not too shabby, eh?)

SAAD JAVED

Age: 20!

Institution: King Edward Medical University, Lahore.

Occupation: I’m striving to become a person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills…yes, I’m wrestling with medical studies nowadays.

City: Lahore

First article: The issue of September 29, 2000. I wrote a silly little piece ‘An Amusing Adventure’ for ‘a page of my diary’. I made sure the whole senior school read it.

The best thing about writing: Writing is something you can never be ashamed of! Even after writing a positively ghastly piece of literature, the fulfillment is so immense, the illusion of control is so enormous; you just end up patting your own back.

What I do in my spare time: I do the grocery. Or I receive and impart knowledge and share information for the gratification of soul (NO! It’s NOT gossip!). Or I cook deep-fried, high-cholesterol, artery-clogging snacks. Or I just sit back and unwind and read some cheap fiction.

Highlight of life: I think I have more than just one happy, highlighted event to talk about. Every moment spent with family and friends would make a fine cushion for my old age, I guess.

Low point in life: Losing my Naani Maa to Cancer. February 2007.

My defining characteristic: People say it’s my sense of humour; impish, greasy, cheeky and very deceptive.

Best part of my day: Early mornings! I love my newspapers “fresh” and crisp, and my egg sunny-side-up!

A favourite movie quote: An enchanting monologue at the end of the movie ‘The Hours’ in which Virginia Woolf, played by Nicole Kidman, says (or thinks) before drowning herself into River Ouse:

“Dear Leonard. To look life in the face, always, to look life in the face and to know it for what it is. At last to know it, to love it for what it is, and then, to put it away. Leonard, always the years between us, always the years. Always the love. Always the hours.”

A movie couldn’t have a better, sadder ending.

Ayesha was combating jet lag with strong tea. After three-and-a-half cups, she declared herself awake enough to be interviewed.

AYESHA PERVEZ

Occupation: A writer who gets most of her ideas while in the shower or in bed at night

City: Karachi-Islamabad-Toronto.

First Article: About beauty contests, in 1999.

The best thing about writing: Feedback (criticism included), the ability to move or influence someone by your words and seeing your name in print isn’t a bad feeling either.

What I do in my spare time: Read, write, talk with my sister, hang out with family, drive, bike, draw and clean. I love cleaning and sorting out rooms, drawers, cupboards… it gives me a sense of being together.

Highlight of Life: I don’t know how to say this without sounding a bit you know…but I guess it would have to be getting first position in Honours at Karachi University.

Low point in life: Grade 4 when my best friend left for another country! Can you imagine anything more tragic for a little girl?

My defining characteristic: Gosh a toughie…I was voted most helpful in my class at University… so I would hope it’s the one, though I’m doubtful.

Best part of my day: It’s either when I wake up in the morning when I’m looking forward to something ahead in the day or when I’m about to sleep at night after a hectic day. Oh, and tea time in the evening is something I take great joy in too!

Favourite colour: I just love pink! More than half of my wardrobe is this colour!

Dure was demanding to know how come a café of any repute didn’t serve saag. I had to wait for her indignation to subside before I could interview her.

DURE AZIZ AMNA

Occupation: Busy in the endeavors to keep a balance between what I want to do and what I have to do. :s

First article: ‘Life in a girls-only school’. (Dure sheepishly covers her face)

The best thing about writing: Knowing that you can inform, amuse and enrage (;p) people through just a pen.

What I do in my spare time: Sleep, procrastinate… Also, dream about a world devoid of football and vilayti songs…Aah! ;p

Highlight of life: Oh, small variable moments…the glimmer of respect in someone’s eyes, the magical taste of saag on a Sunday afternoon, laughing alone like a maniac in a group of people…

Low point in life: The now frequent news of killings of my countrymen. On a lighter note, early winter mornings and the discovery of a new pimple.

My defining characteristic: My highly irrational ego.

Best part of my day: The evening, when I am with people who mean the world to me.

My favourite colour: Black

Waqas showed up sporting an extremely fake moustache. He insisted on keeping it on even though it looked downright ridiculous. He said it was his idea of humour.

WAQAS HASSAN SHARIF

Occupation: Trying to pursue one!

City: The city of lights, but without electricity: Karachi!

First article: An Exclusive interview with President General Pervez Musharaf, Saddar not Tariq Road of Islami Jamhoria-e-Pakistan . The only problem was that he was missing all the time.

The best thing about writing: Well, the Us magazine sends cheque after 6 MONTHS, so money is out of the question. The best thing about my writings is the humour. I love humour.

What I do in my spare time: Study!

Highlight of life: My articles are specially read by Editor, The News International. The editor goes through them to ensure that there is nothing in them that the Supreme Court can take exception to and take any legal action!

Low point in life: The low point of my life is my surname SHARIF, which didn’t catch the attention of President Musharraf when he was exiling Nawaz Sharif and family. What do I have to do to live in a luxurious palace abroad, hijack airplanes? Just kidding, Pakistan rocks!

Actually, my low point is the day when my university announces the examination results.

My defining characteristic: I can take any edible food item and convert it into the spiciest meal ever.

Best part of my day: When my mom comes home from work and I give her a nice cup of tea, which is “nice” according to her!

A favourite something: It’s not exactly a favourite, but I like the freedom that this government has given to the media. You can bash them any way you like.

Omar’s pen explores the vistas of various youth interests. We all need a break from issues and discussions from time to time!

M. OMAR IFTIKHAR

Age: 25 years, but with the heart of a ten year old!

Date of Birth: November 19, 1982

Occupation: Student, freelance writer, visionary

City: The city of Quaid

First article: July 10, 2004

The best thing about writing: Whenever I write an article, or whenever one gets published, it feels like I’m doing it for the first time.

What I do in my spare time: Brainstorm for my next article, watch cartoons and movies.

Highlight of life: When my first cover story was published in Us.

Low point in life: I believe all low points in life are an opportunity to achieve a highlight of life.

My defining characteristic(s): Imaginative, curious, observant, simple, motivated, unpredictable and humorous.

Best part of my day: When I come back home.

A favourite something: As a Man Thinketh – by James Allen; I recommend all to read it.

Most of his work is based on covering different topics of interest, but he sometimes also writes to amuse.

ARIF IFTIKHAR

Occupation: I would love to say writing but alas! Chartered Accountancy.

City: Lahore

First article: ‘The World is not Enough’ (14-04-2000)

The best thing about writing: “Like everyone else, I am going to die. But the words – the words live on for as long as there are readers to see them, audiences to hear them. It is immortality by proxy. It is not really a bad deal, all things considered.”

J. Michael Straczynski

What I do in my spare time: Write!

Highlight of life: Holding my newly born nephew in my arms.

Low point in life: None.

My defining characteristic: Courage

Best part of my day: When I am writing.

A favourite quotation: Your limitations are imaginary.

Aliza is known for her heartfelt (though infrequent) pieces that that strike a chord within the reader.

ALIZA BATOOL NAQVI

Occupation: Searching the trivial most stuff out there, from the darkness and presenting it with a new bright touch. Yes, I am a student of literature.

City: Karachi

D.O.B.: 26th July

Educational institute: Department of English, Karachi University.

First article: ‘Relationships’, Us magazine.

What I do in my spare time: As if I get any – to remind you, I am a student of literature.

Highlight of life: “Move aside, you may be crushed”.

Low point in Life: Monotony, when at times it comes.

Defining characteristic: Resilience

Best part of the day: Night

Favourite something: Us and everything (SOMEONE) related to it!

At this point, there was some disturbance caused by a certain Labeeb ur Rehman who wished to gain entry to air his views on the situation, but he was told that admission was restricted and he had to go back disappointed.

Ah, yes. Yours truly also makes an appearance in this venture, though purely on readers’ request.

IQRA ASAD

Occupation: Student

City: Lahore

First article: ‘She is a girl’ (September 2006)

The best thing about writing: Being able to make people laugh and/or think, exploring the limitations and possibilities of this flexible medium, portraying something to one’s satisfaction, giving shape to a strike of inspiration, the feeling of purpose and achievement. If I can make a difference for just one person even, my effort has not gone to waste.

What I do in my spare time: Read, write, daydream, relax. Spend time with family.

Highlight of life: Meaning something to others, whether it is my family, friends or even my dog who delivers elaborate welcomes when I come home. I can’t thank Allah enough.

Low point in life: Seeing so many bad things happen in the world. On a personal level, whenever my time mismanagement catches up with me.

My defining characteristic(s): Creativity, conscience, perception, consideration.

Best part of my day: Weekday evenings (finally get to be with my family) and weekend mornings (an entire day ahead to spend as you please).

A favourite something: Comic strips. While the rest of the school would be crowding around the horoscope section at the newspaper stand, I would be perusing the comics page.

Mansoor writes in many modes; reflective, creative or any other according to his mood. All are effective.

MANSOOR RATHORE

Occupation: Student of O level, final year.

City: Rawalpindi

First article: ‘When will we wake up?’ (October 13, 2006)

The best thing about writing: It gives a profound sense of self achievement and confidence to see your work published.

What I do in my spare time: Spend as much time as I can with my family (they are always disgruntled whenever I fail to show them my face for days when my work load is virtually crushing me), reading, writing for Us, television, music and of course, hanging out of with friends.

Highlight of life: The time when I became the Head Boy of my primary school back in grade 5. It was a much dreamed about dream come true. I was overjoyed (read frenzied).

Low point of life: I was really depressed the day I was changing my school after completing grade 5 (most of the golden memories are restricted to that school, now that I come to think of it!)

My defining characteristic: I am ambitious; this shapes and influences the rest of my character traits and flaws.

Best part of my day: I always find the evening tea time most soothing and jovial.

A favourite author: Dan Brown, J. K. Rowling and Jane Austen (couldn’t name just one).

Farhan prefers to spend time and thought on different issues and events. Farhan who? Readers know him better as FD Sheikh. Now that’s one mystery we solved without Scotland Yard.

FARHAN DILAWAR SHEIKH

Occupation: Appointed to course books.

City: The heart of Pakistan

DOB: 19 October, 19** (year censored)

The best thing about writing: A tremendous opportunity to set free one’s feelings and notions.

First article: ‘The relation of Heart & Mind’.

What I do in my spare time: Dil ke batain with my diary and articulation as well.

Highlight of life: Moralities

Low point in life: Today, almost everyone wants to make his/her own way only. Egoism in the attitude of people is quite depressing.

My defining characteristic: Humbleness, I think.

Best part of my day: When successfully done with the entire tasks of the day.

Favourite personality: Not a specific one. I appreciate different traits in different people, as one might be experienced but never be perfect in all aspects.

Maryam here discusses things very relevant to the average teenager, and that too with zeal.

MARYAM BAQIR

Occupation: Just a student right now

City: Karachi (duh!)

First article: I seriously don’t remember…

The best thing about writing: Provides me a channel that I can drain all my tensions into, a platform through which I can express general opinions to the masses and the only way which makes it possible for me to learn how a kidney functions and what drama chromosomes create during mitosis and meiosis! hehe..

What I do in my spare time: Hardly get any!

Highlight of life: I have just the right mass yet I am going bonkers after burning pounds. Lactic acid roars in my muscles and an empty stomach growls. The highlight of life is…ungratefulness!

Low point in life: When the weighing balance needle does not move to the left, no matter how hard I try!

My defining characteristic: Loud, outspoken and forgetful, yet very considerate, trustworthy and social and not rude…ok, these are characteristics and not characteristic!

Best part of my day: Midnight….time for sleep!

A favourite something: The colour blood red!

His collaboration with Saad on ‘Distrust Us’ propelled him to stardom, but unfortunately (or fortunately?) he fell short of heart throb status. Undaunted by his failure to secure female fandom, he proceeded to churn out pieces on art and literature. Winning hearts isn’t everything, after all.

M. AWAIS AFTAB

Occupation: Dissecting human bodies and human souls; a medical student.

Age: 20

Date of Birth: 8th August 1987

Educational Institution: King Edward Medical University

City: Lahore

First article: My first poem ‘The Rain Within’ came in 2004. First article was a part of a cover story on Tuitions.

The best thing about writing: The ability to influence people, and touch their hearts and minds.

What I do in my spare time: Read books, chat with my friends, write on my blog, or listen to music.

Highlight of life: Getting a position in FSc and highest marks in medical college entry test.

Low point in life: My first heart-break!

My defining characteristic: An inordinate passion for philosophy.

Best part of my day: Afternoons

My favourite writer: Bertrand Russell. Few writers have influenced me more than him. His views on religion, politics, logic, and ethics have provided a foundation to my own thoughts. The influence can be safely summed up by his quote: “The good life is one inspired by love and guided by knowledge.”

Sehar singularly conquered the contemporary Pakistani love story with her moving piece, which received tremendous appreciation. The capability with which she handled this work, of which type one sees very rare quality specimens, earned her an invite to Café Online.

SEHAR SHEIKH

Occupation: I’m a student of finance.

City: The city of live-hearted people, Lahore.

First article: My first article in Us was the life account of Charlie Chaplin (April 20, 2007).

Best thing about writing: Writing is the expression of thoughts of the writer. It’s about giving vent to one’s feeling. I wish my writings to be influencing enough to make readers laugh or cry.

Low point in life: It was the sad demise of my beloved aunt. She was my best friend, my childhood playmate, my confidant and the best thing I could ever have. Her sudden death was shocking to me. It took me quite some time to get out of that trauma.

What I do in my spare time: I play piano in my spare time. I’m not very good at it, but my brother is an expert. I’m taking classes from him :p

Favourite book: Alchemist by Paulo Coelho…it was suggested to me by my best friend. Otherwise I’m not much into reading books.

By Waqas Hassan Sharif

Published in

Us Magazine – The News International

Dated: [15-February-2008]

Ladies and Gentlemen, Welcome to the biggest game show of the country: Kaun Banega Prime Minister/Baad Mien cororepati. And, the host for the show is, as always – Mr. Big Shot!

MBS: Mere aziz humwatno. Mere bhayon and un ki behno, we have gathered here for the third transition towards Democracy. Rules for the game are simple as ever. We will start with the Fastest Finger First (FFF), but first we will start with the players’ introduction.

The people contesting are:

1) The Shareer brothers

2) The Chaudrys

3) Mulana Fazlur Rehman

4) Imran Khan

And now, let’s start our first segment: the FFF.

Q: Starting from the least arrange the following according to the most irritating of the following:

1> CNG queues

2> KESC\WAPDA

3> Sahir Lodhi show

4> Time checks

5> Politicians

6> Missed calls

7> Satires and Trust Us in Us magazine

8> Pakistani movies

And the answers are:

1> Pakistani movies

2> KESC\WAPDA

3> Missed calls

4> CNG queues

5> Satires and Trust Us in Us Magazine

6> Sahir Lodhi Show

7> Time checks

8> Politicians

All contestants have given the correct answers, so all will participate in the show, but we will start with the quickest person to give the answers.

Surprisingly, the winners are the Shareer Brothers.

MBS: Welcome to the show. Welcome to Pakistan. Yahan kasie aye?

NS: Hum Pakistan ko bachany aye hain!!

MBS: Kis se, apne aap se?

NS: Hum Pakistan ko bachanay aye hain and so we meet again.

MBS: Last time kab miley thai?

NS: 1999 maybe.

MBS: {laughing} Yeah dude! What’s up? How was your vacation in Saudi Arabia?

NS: I should have known then not to make you the Army Chief.

MBS: Tu istikhara kara letey na mujh ko army chief banay se pehle.

NS: Karaya tha Mulana Fazlur Rehman se.

MBS: Tu phir kya hua.

NS: It was a YES!!!

MBS: {laughing louder} Acha, stop whining and present your party manifesto so that we can play ‘Kuan Banega Prime Minister.

Chota Shareer: Big Shot sahib, ye live show hai kya?

MBS: Nahi beta, live per pabandi hai. Recorded hai.

Bara Shareer and Chota Shareer present their party manifesto…

Shareers: Hum mulk ko bachanay aaye hain.

MBS: Pehele apnay aap ko bachao mujh se. Khair, present your party manifesto, please!

Shareers: Hum mulk ko ‘Amrika’ se bachayenge.

Hum motor way banayenge.

MBS: Phir se?

Shareers: Puranay walay ko tor ker naya banwayenge, sir.

Hum petrol sasta karenge.

Hum time checks khatam karenge.

We will provide full freedom to the media so that they can give coverage only to us!

Hamara Intikhabi Nishaan

SHER {Lion}

Vote for the Lion.

MBS: Is your lion the same that lives in the Lahore Zoo?

Shareers: No comments. Let’s play Kaun Banega Prime Minister.

Q: 1 How much is 2+2

A: 4

B: 6

C: 8

D: 10

CS: Baray Bhai, I think it’s 6.

BS: Nahi Shahbash, ye bhi in ki koi chal hai.

MBS: You can use a lifeline.

Shareers: Yes, we will. 50:50

MBS: Okay, here are your options now

A: 4

C: 8

Shareers: A-4

MBS: Oh, shukar hai.

Shareers: Nahi pehle ye tou puchoo lock karna hai ke nahi.

MBS: Bah! A-4 is the right answer.

Q2: What is the capital of the US?

A: New York

B: Tokyo

C: Washington D.C.

D: London

Shareers: We know that! It’s Washington D.C.

MBS: Good!

Q: What does WAPDA stand for?

A: Water and Power Development Authority

B: Water and Power Disruption Authority

C: Without Any Power Development Authority

D: What a Pathetic Development Authority

Shareers: C, Without Any Power Authority

MBS: True!

Q: Are the elections going to be rigged?

A: Yes

B: No

C: Don’t know

D: All the above

Shareers: Of course the answer is A. Yes, lock it.

MBS: Sorry, guys, good bye! Wrong answer!

Shareers: No, this is cheating. This is pre-poll rigging!

NEXT!!! Please

The second to give the quickest answer were the Chaudrys.

Chaudrys: Good evening, Sir.

MBS: Good evening.

Chaudrys: Sir, please ask easy questions.

MBS: First present your party manifesto.

Chaudrys: Yes, of course.

Hamara khwab para likha Punjab

Haar qadam khushhali ki janab

Hamara Nishaan: CYCLE, wo bhi mountain bike, gear wali

Hum mulk ko corruption se pak kerdenge

Hum Nawaz Sharif ko exile kardenge

18th Febuary ko mulk ko khushhal banao

Cycle per hi mohar lagao

MBS: Bas, bas that’s enough. Ye complete khushhali kab tak ayegi?

Chaudrys: Sir, jab aap kahenge.

MBS: Haan Cycle per arahi hai, pata nahi kab tak ayegi.

Chaudrys: Sir, let’s play.

MBS: Here’s your first question:

Q1: A political poll was conducted to see how the two leading candidates for president were doing. Obama got 47 percent, Clinton got 45 percent, and the rest of the people who responded were undecided. What percent were undecided?

Seventy-five percent (3/4) of the undecided voters were leaning toward Obama. If 200 people were polled, how many said they would vote for Clinton?

Which statement is most likely true based on the above information?

a. Obama is going to win the election.

b. Clinton is going to win the election.

c. If the election were held on the same day as the poll, and only those who were polled voted, Obama would win.

d. If the election were held on the same day as the poll, and only those who were polled voted, Clinton would win.

Chaudrys: Sir, sir! Ye kis qisam ka sawal hai?

MBS: Sawaal kerne wala main hoon, jawab tum do gai.

Chaudrys: Sir ye @$#%&^^%$@!@$^!~!#$%%##%$%

MBS: What are you saying? I can’t understand you!!

Chaudrys: Sir, please ask simple questions like you did with the Shareers.

MBS: Kya hoa Chaudrys, your cycle got punctured?

Chaudrys: Nope, but ask simple questions.

MBS: OK. You people are using a lifeline, so I am going to flip the question. Computer jee, please ask the next question.

Q: I am multiplying a mystery number by zero. The product is:

a: > 0

b: <>

c: An odd number

d: 500

Chaudrys: Sir, kya aap mazaaq ker rahe hain?

MBS: Nahi, jawab do warna out.

Chaudrys: Per hamara kuch khayal karain.

MBS: Kyun kya masla hai, you belong to parha likha Punjab, right?

Chaudrys: Please think of us, we have lots of things in common.

MBS: Like?

One of the Chaudrys: The letter ‘P’. You are all for Pakistan and so are we. My name is Pervaiz! P for Pakistan, P for Prime Minister and P for Power, so please thora discount dain. Aap ko ‘P’ ka wasta.

MBS: And P for para likha Punjab. Sorry, you guys have to leave, good bye.

Chaudrys: Sir hum nay aap ko powerful banaya.

MBS: Aur main ne tum ko bewakuf!

NEXT!!!

We have Imran Khan in the house.

MBS: What are you doing here? You are not even contesting the polls.

Imran Khan: I have come here to tell you that you are an illegitimate President. These are fake elections. They are going to be rigged. I am going to boycott the elections.

MBS: Woh tou theek hai, per yahan kyun aye ho?

Imran Khan: I have come to tell you that I am also going to boycott your stupid game show.

MBS: Bas yahi batanay aye thai? Sms kerdeyta, yaar.

Imran Khan: Yaar, jab Punjab University ke students nay mujhe mara tha, tub I think kissi ne jaib se nikaal liya mera cell phone.

MBS: Waise Immo, on a personal note, I have taken strict notice about this incident and as a result I have increased the funding of Punjab University!

Imran Khan: What the heck!

MBS: Yeah! Howzzat! Waise why are you boycotting the election?

Imran Khan: How can there be free and fair elections while you are around?

MBS: Well, I don’t know about fairness, but the Elections are going to be absolutely free. No charges from voters.

NEXT!!!

We have got the rocking Maulana Fazlur Rehman!

MBS: How are you, Fazlu?

Fazlu: I am fine, dude. What’s up with you?

MBS: How is MMA doing without you?

Fazlu: What did it do when I was there?

MBS: Very true! Let’s play.

Q: What’s the intikhabi nishaan of the MMA?

A: Tasty Chalia

B: Topi

C: SONY Bravia LCD

D: Burqa

Fazlu: It’s the burqa, of course.

MBS: Sure?

Fazlu: Yeah, dude, dead sure.

MBS: Good going.

MBS: What does MMA stand for?

A: Muthahida Majlis Amal

B: Mauj Masti Association

C: Masters in Madrassa Administration.

D: Makhi Maro Association

Fazlu: It’s Mauj Masti Association

MBS: Right on!

Q: What is the cheapest alternative fuel after petrol?

A: CNG

B: Ethanol

C: LPG

D: Kerosene oil

Fazlu: Diesel

MBS: Are you sure?

Fazlu: They don’t call me Maulana Diesel for nothing!

MBS: Well, that’s wrong. You are clean bowled, good bye.

Fazlu: This is cheating; this is pre poll rigging. We are going to protest against this and you. We are going to protest against these elections. There are going to be strikes and protest rallies against you every week. I warn you!

MBS: Will you also boycott the elections?

Fazlu: No way, bro!

MBS: Bas theek hai. Well, looks like all the losers have lost, so it’s up to me again. The next episode of Kaun Banega Prime Minister baad-mien-Crorepati will be aired after 18th February 2008. Till then, happy voting!

By Waqas Hassan Sharif

Published in

Us Magazine – The News International

DATED: [22ND-August-2008]

Once upon a time, three weeks ago in a land not so far away, a new day had just dawned with the sun smiling much above the horizon. A cool, handsome and yes, single guy was ready to leave his home for a very educational journey, that is, towards his university. The guy happened to be me and did I mention single? Yes I did. Well, as I left home, I began to walk towards the bus stop which is about 600 meters away from my house. I always walk on the wrong side of the road so that I can see the traffic coming towards me rather than passing me by. As I approached the bus stop a sudden noise, like some heavy metal being dragged against the ground caught my attention. A guy, not-so-young and definitely not better looking than I am, was also about to start his day as he had opened his bungalow’s main gate to take out his car. I looked with envy at the huge house which had a driveway that could accommodate eight cars at a time and that, too, parked in a line. The guy began walking towards his car which was parked at the end of the driveway. After I had fully invaded the privacy of the house by scanning it inside out, I turned my face towards the main road and paused immediately as my eyes caught a view that I can never forget. No, it was not a beautiful girl standing in front of me, I wasn’t so lucky that day!

Two guys, who had come from the wrong side on their bike, overtook me from my left and stopped in front of me. One of the guys, who, I think was definitely better looking than me, almost jumped at me from the bike. As I saw this, I immediately knew what to do next as it was that time of the year again! My cell phone was about to be snatched!

After that I was not able to think what was going to happen and the only thing which came to my mind was a nice good bye which I was going to offer to my beloved cell phone which could go like this:

Oh my love

Though we have come a long way

Now the time has arrived for you to depart

To the world hereafter

A beautiful world filled with

Guns, bullets and lots of blocked SIMs

But wait: there was an easy way out, yes my friends, a way out.

The guys shouted, “Come here, beta, sharafat se,” and I ran as fast as I could. It didn’t even bother me that they had a gun. Aakhir goli, goli pe likha hota hai khanay walay ka naam, and luckily, that goli was not meant for me. But where could I run? Yes, you are a genius if you have guessed it. I ran into the house with the car porch, which, I love to repeat, could hold eight cars at a time. As I was literally running inside the house on the driveway I heard the noise of that bike speeding away and passing by the house. Yes the biker boys fled! Haahaa! The pair of losers couldn’t even snatch a mobile phone!

I made it to the middle of the driveway, while the not-so-young man, who was about to leave for somewhere, had started his car’s engines. He adjusted his rear view mirror and looked at me through it. I got confused not knowing what to do, as it was a very awkward situation. The guy just ignored me and moved on. I came out of the house and tried catching his attention. Finally we established eye contact. He looked into my eyes and I looked into his and we both paused for a minute… Okay people, this is going somewhere else… Then he left.

After this particular incident I got depressed. No, I became sad, not because I couldn’t even thank him, but because no politics was involved in this incident!

By Waqas Hassan Sharif

Interview with Shirin Naqvi – Founder School Of Leadership

Published in

Us Magazine – The News International

DATED: [16-May-2008]

YLC or the Young Leaders Conference is a phenomenon that occurs every year from 1st to 6th July. It is held in Lahore, Karachi and Rawalpindi. Youth from all over Pakistan participate in it and get the chance to appreciate the diversity that exists in our country. During these 6 days, many workshops are held: these can be on leadership or even on appreciating how blessed and fortunate are people who are well off and physically sound. Young people from different provinces are divided into groups and made to work with each other. As a result, misconceptions and prejudices are removed. That, in itself, is a great service to the country. In fact, we suggest that the government also send its representatives to hunt for talent, and then train the brilliant young people as future politicians.

Us caught up with Shirin Naqvi, the dynamic lady who started all this in Pakistan. How we wish that more people start following her lead to engage the young people of the country and tap the invaluable resource that is being wasted. Only by empowering the youth can Pakistan move forward!

Tell us some thing about yourself.

I did my matriculations from Peshawar, then I did my bachelors in econometrics from Kinnaird College, Lahore. After that, I did my MBA from IBA Karachi. Besides all this, I have done a number of courses from the US. Right now I am working with three organisations which are Navitus, a consultancy firm; SoL – School of Leadership and SoL Foundation where we work with children with disabilities.

What was the concept behind YLC? What made you think of starting SoL?

SoL started when we did the Young Leaders Conference in 2002. I got the idea of starting YLC from GYLC, the Global Young Leaders Conference which is held in New York. I simply thought that it should happen in Pakistan too. So I contacted many people like Javed Jabbar so that the process could get started. Then we opened SoL in 2003. At first it was a small room with three people sitting together.

What is the aim of YLC?

YLC aims towards two things: one is to make people realise how much potential they have; to believe in themselves, and to build their confidence. The second aim is to realise the inside out approach; main hoon tu duniya hain!

What is the difference between the GYLC and YLC?

GYLC is very different from YLC. In GYLC you have to represent a country and in YLC we focus on leadership.

Besides YLC, what are the other projects of SoL for the youth?

Other than YLC, we are currently running TTYT. It stands for ‘Train the young trainer’. In this project we train youths from ages 18-22, and we have been doing this for the last six years. We have about 120 trainers now. The trainers conduct workshops and the graduates of TTYT run the YLC.

We also conduct summer camps in public speaking. These are of two types:

One is ‘Impact’ which is for 14-17 year olds. And the second which is for the youth between 18-24 year olds is the ‘Hyde Park Junior’. In these camps we focus on public speaking skills and confidence. There is this other programme which we are doing in coordination with a cellular company in which we go to different universities and provide career counselling to students. We also conduct a Women Conference of 3 days on women empowerment in which women from ages 18 – 80 participate.

Your definition of Leadership?

That you are able to make decisions, assume responsibility and take risks in making your choices in life. That is, not living it according to what the zamana says, but because what you think is right.

Initial problems, response of sponsors?

We just jumped into it without having adequate funds. But luckily, within one year, our integrity and reputation was established in the corporate and the social sectors.

At our first YLC, we had zero funds. So I sold some of my gold and got the money I needed, and with that we made visiting cards and letterheads on which we wrote the idea and sent it to about 150 different companies. 134 students attended the first YLC.

What is the difference between a Leader and a Manager?

There is no difference as the definition goes in the 21st Century. In today’s time, leadership is a function of management; it’s not a separate function. Every manager has to be a leader.

How do you motivate your team members?

I don’t have to! They are already motivated. The idea is so powerful itself that they get enthralled by it.

What are your future plans and targets?

I always wanted to go into politics, but I don’t have a political background, so it’s a bit late. And in addition, I am quite naïve. But I am really interested in starting a school for politicians called the School of Governance. But I don’t know whether parents will send their children for politics (laughs). And secondly, I would like to work with disabled youth and make them more economically empowered.

What expectations do you have from this year’s YLC?

Same as before; we will hopefully enable 300 youths to become more confident and stand up and face the world.

What have you learnt from YLC?

Every year, almost on the 5th or 6th day, I say no more! It’s not useful; nahi seekhay gain.

What about international students?

This is not our target. We announce our programme and whoever wants to come, comes. But this year we have got so many applications from all over the world that we had to Google the countries and see if they even exist. We got about 50 applications from Nigeria. We requested them to send 20 students. We told them that we would go to Nigeria the next year and train the youths over there.